"I hide behind a mask of smiles, so no one see beneath the surface"
You know what's fascinating masks can be? they hide all emotions. We all wear masks at times. Whether its a good thing or not, i won't say no, sometimes we need to take it down, even its just for alittle while. Hiding our true feelings for other, to protect them, most of the time, we protect ourselves. By putting a happy mask when we're sad or depressed. Acting like there's nothing happen and pretending nothing can hurt you. Always, a mask of deception and lies that makes people think that we're fine. People may look strong at the outside, but in fact, most of them just hiding the traces of tears. Inside, they're broken and they need someone that can lean on to get them through time that are hard for them. That always happens to most of us including me. Wearing a mask, to me, perhaps it helps me to forget myself, forget about problems that i'm facing, even just for awhile.
After so many things and years, I notice that those people with strong look always the weakest one. They hide all these tears inside, hide all the pain and all the hurt, hide behind a mask, just hope nobody could see how they actually feel and they could continue fixing themselves. Inside they're a mess, a hurricane of emotions, a black hold of sorrow. Just hope that one day, they could still stand and hope that they would not break down because of these.
In reality, all of us 'try on' different masks to see which is the most comfortable, which affords us the most protection from exposure. I used to question people," why do you all need to put on masks?" But only realized that i have been doing the same thing. We add layers and accessories that add more credibility to the whole costume- competitions, awards, diploma, get good grades, be a good girl/boy, get another car or a bigger house. Gradually, the costume becomes very heavy. Results? Mental and physical exhaustion. We burn out from the effort of trying to maintain a facade. We lose our ability to be spontaneous and enjoy the moment.
At times, i hope to get a stronger and harder shell so that i can protect myself; a better lock so that i will not easily open up myself.